I need a pep talk. Does anyone else? Is anyone else feeling as low and guilty and pathetic as I am right now?

Everything/one is ever so inspirational and full of good intentions post new years and I am trying to take it all in and be positive and active but…being unemployed is so…draining. In a “can’t leave the house, have to save all my money, must apply/sell oneself on endless job applications but procrastinate and end up watching tv for hours on end” kind of way. I’m a night owl – so I’m up all night pottering around and then sleep most of the next day – and feel endlessly guilty about it. I can’t even be bothered to get dressed most days. It’s truly pathetic.

I always knew I worked better under pressure – when life is super busy and you have a million things on your plate and you just have to buck up and get it all done otherwise it will all fall apart – that’s when I get stuff done. Well, just because I’m no longer juggling a job, gym commitments, social life, endless household chores, making stuff, reading things etc it all seems to have come to a grinding holt. But the only thing missing from the equation is ‘job’. So why can’t I keep the rest going?!

Because I have no self dicipline? No self respect? Because I’m crippled by laziness, fear, self doubt?
All of the above?!

But you didn’t come here to read my rants about being pathetic and filled with self loathing now – did you? It’s hardly inspiring, or uplifting or even interesting to read. My sincere apologies for indulging myself, yet again.

This post is titled PEP TALK and a pep talk we shall receive.

Starting with Bette. This cover of a Bob Dylan classic is playing on repeat on my computer right now. It’s so powerfully moving it makes me wanna stand up on my chair and scream and yell and fight and dance and run and jump with my heart thumping with hope and confidence and love.

“I see my life, come shining, shining, shining, from the west down to the east. Any day now, any day now, I shall be, I shall be released.”

Wish I knew where to purchase a copy of this track, itunes only had the soul-less studio version, watered down and stripped of it’s raw emotion. If anyone does know where I could get my hands on a copy like this, please let me know!

And moving on to my sprouts. See how they’ve grown! They were only this big before, remember?
If these guys can flourish in 3 grains of soil, a glimmer of light and a drop or two of water, then there is surely hope for us, right?!

And finally – some wise words from H. G Wells.

“We must not allow the clock and the calendar to blind us to the fact that each moment of life is a miracle and a mystery.”

So whether you decide to sing it, see it, say it or all three, I hope you’re suitably ‘pepped’ now. I’m going to have a shower, get dressed and step in to the light of the sun.