B!

If you guessed BLOG POST you’d be correct. If you guessed BABY you’d also be correct.
Which brings me to my excellent excuse for my absence in blogland, and life in general, for the past few months. I’m just emerging from the fog of my first ever first trimester. Yes dear friends and readers, (if there is anyone still reading after my unexplained departure), I am pregnant.

Up the duff. Preggers. Bun in the oven. I’m legitimately fat now people.

And if the shock of discovering there was a very unplanned, surprise human growing in my uterus wasn’t enough then the shock of discovering being pregnant isn’t all glowing loveliness, long lunches and nesting by painting a nursery in overalls like on some paint ad, has certainly bowled me over.

The exhaustion. I’ve slept for weeks. I sleep around 12 hours a night and then nap several times a day. I think I sleep more than the cat right now. The endless nausea and aversion to any food smells. The fact that morning sickness lasts all day, and for me, is worse at night. My utter lack of appetite and thanks to some rather nifty hormone changes I’ve been constipated for a good two months now. Honestly, no one EVER mentioned to me before that being pregnant can make you constipated! Word up to the non mums out there – you’ve now been warned!

So while you’ve all been going about your busy, crafty, inspirational lives I’ve been walking around like a zombie, unable to muster an intelligent thought let alone think about picking up my crochet hook, knitting needles, camera or even stringing together a typed sentence. I’ve never felt so utterly devoid of creative impulses in my life and it’s depressing me so much. I have to believe that all of my creative energy has been diverted to the being in my belly, who will in turn grow into a fabulously talented, creative, inspirational human being. (No pressure.)

And I’m trying not to think about how I’ll never have a chance to indulge in my beloved sleep-ins for many years to come, how I’ll have to transform into a responsible parent/housewife who cooks and cleans on a regular, you know, daily, basis, how we’re going to fit a family into our one bedroom apartment, how our sunroom/study/junkroom needs to be emptied and transformed into a nursery, how we’re going to lug a pram up four flights of stairs, how difficult and scarce holidays will be from now on, whether my partner will love our child more than he loves me and how I’m going to pass a baby through my vagina. (No pressure.)

So in order to return some normalacy to my life I’ve decided to return to In the Light of the Sun. Regular sunshine and regular blogging. That’s my plan for bringing back ‘me’. Of course, I can guarantee neither but I can try. And thanks for sticking with me, by the way, it’s much appreciated. (No pressure!)

Evidence I saw the sun today as well as napping with the cat…

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