I’ll admit to being a little paralysed by fear lately, or a nifty cocktail of fear, procrastination, laziness and exhaustion. I feel like I’m treading water, but that the water level is rising swiftly and it’s getting tougher to keep my head above water. Trouble is, it’s only me making the water rise!
I have so much support around me, I know everyone believes in me and deep down I even believe in myself. I’m just not making myself proud, if you know what I mean? I’m not getting things done. But I’m not in the mood for getting things done. Can’t I sit on the couch all day instead? I need to encourage my courage.
I need to get on with it.
I need to tackle some mammoth tasks and then I can quit feeling guilty about not being the amazing me I know I can be.
Here are a few tasks to tackle. If I admit them to you, dear friends, perhaps you’ll hold me accountable?!
* Declutter, repackage and transform the “junk room” into a happy room for the lil one to sleep in. There is a lot to do in the smallest room in our house. A lot.
* Do my tax before the end of the next financial year already.
* Work harder and smarter at my freelance jobs. We need the money.
* Stop freaking out and comparing my impending labour experience to that of certain celebrities. Like Kourtney Kardashian, for example, who didn’t even break a sweat on her perfectly made up face when she reached down and delivered her own baby. I know I won’t be sweat, tears or terror free when the big day comes, but the image of her completely calm labour is not inspiring me, it’s giving me guilt trips like skinny models in magazines.
That’d make a nice start I think. I will do the things that I think I cannot. Or rather, the things I do not really want to do, but know I must.